crittersheep | Variety Show rite

Variety Show rite - Sunday session

[ All participants are whisked into a game show studio. Above them there is a giant sign in neon lights declaring: "Pasture BAAARIETY SHOW with your hosts the Late Show Demon and Warden the Insult Comic Jackalope!" A swell of live applause begins even though the lights make it impossible to see who could possibly be out there in the audience stands, but everyone can tell they're being watched.

Each flock, some with added Weeds, find themselves standing behind a podium. There is a counter on each podium that currently reads zero. ]

[ The Late Show Demon waves to the invisible audience then taps some note cards...which promptly go up in flames. It looks like it's showtime! ]

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[ This is the brief amount of time you have to get your bearings and see who else is here before the host's monologue is over and the game begins. The rules will be explained to you diegetically, but you also instinctively know that this is a team game. Earning points will mean the team with the highest score wins. Flock and canon powers are on, but cannot be used against the hosts, and if you try to fuck things up enough nobody is going to win any fabulous prizes (TM). ]

The object of this game is basically in the title. I give you an open ended question, something like telling me what is the meaning of life, and you answer with any anything as long as it isn’t correct!

For this game we will be asking: “Why did Blossom decide to pull someone’s soul to the pasture?”

This should be easy since we all know she doesn’t really plan things and everything here is a cascade of bad decisions made in a moment of panic. That said, if we were to pretend it was true an appropriate answer can be:

“Hannya, for his depth perception”
“Tart, for his rampant enthusiasm.”
“Crescendo to begin his villain origin story.”

Each answer gets 100 points. The more objectively incorrect the answer is, the more likely you will get bonus points. You can go back for repeats, so if you have six different wrong answers for why a certain flock member was chosen, you can beat that dead Peony horse for all it’s worth. And, yes, you can still use Peony as your examples even though they’ve departed for greener pastures or more socialization-proofed basements.

Next game is Nursery Crimes. Hey, have you ever noticed how we had some weird themes going on here in this pasture? Like Little Bo Peep if she made a detour through all the Grimms fairy tales that involved casual murder. Well, this game aims to recreate that distilled joy of creating a memorable ditty that you can teach small children who will repeat it over and over again, and only later learn how deeply disturbing the lyrics were really meant to be. Probably in therapy.

Your task is to create a nursery rhyme, using whatever topics you’re familiar with. For example,

[ clears throat and brings up the world’s tiniest violin ]

Hey diddle diddle, here’s me with a fiddle
On route to the Bell shop for a snack.
To Coco I grin, show off my violin
And her reply was, I quote, “That’s wack!”

Now, just giving you time to write that would actually be too easy. Except for the flocks who have trouble with group assignments…

But that lets us introduce the other part of the game, where the other teams and our, ehe, esteemed fellow judge will each suggest an object you have to include in your rhymes. It doesn’t have to be the literal word, but if someone asks for, say, psychedelic mushrooms, you have to at least reference fungi.

Nursery rhymes can be as long and unhinged as you want, extra points will go to creativity and style. Or maybe extra points will go to how well you sabotage the other teams, I leave that to… [ glancing at the Talk Show Host Demon and Faith ] …collaborative judgement.

Me, I’m here solely for your sick flow and the potential warping of young, impressionable minds! So get ready and go!

... let's get this over with, then.

[Levi's hands are dripping wet. Can't he just clean up in peace?]

...I like it.

Hmm.

Aw, didja miss me?

[ sits here boredly, just waiting to judge. nbd. ]

Hehe, oops. We were expecting contestants with cold feet but not wet hands.

[ if you need to strategize or talk shit about the jackalope ]

Rubato, because his rates are cheaper than a real surveillance system.

[Flicks water at Warden.]

Muffin, because he's the load bearing ball of fluff and sunshine that keeps the rest of us from descending into wanton chaos and bloodshed.

Why did Blossom decide to pull anyone's soul to the pasture? Observed reason? Because she's a moron. Actual reason? Because she hates herself.

She summoned me to make things extra fabulous, of course.
She summoned Bluebell to cry. A lot.
She summoned Clover to be manipulated.
She summoned Rose to be pretentious.
She summoned other weeds to feed their alcoholism.
And the others... I dunno.

Edited 2024-09-01 19:56 (UTC)

Pudding, because...

...

...
_{He's like a scarecrow, alright. He's like those owl statues you put up on the roof.}

Ananke, because his angst disrupted the hivemind.

Hmm, half points! Maybe not "the rest of us" but the "load bearing ball of fluff and sunshine" is too accurate for this game!

...although if that's just you trying to butter up your man, I respect the other game you've got going on. Heh!

For Blossom herself? To try to find a therapist, and she failed even that with this selection of choices.

[ Sorry pasturefolk- ]

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Variety Show rite - Sunday session

Talk Show Portion

Round 1: Wrong Answers Only

Round 2: Nursery Crimes

Round 3: Smart Sheep or Stupid Sheep

Rules

Rules

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Rose answers

Nue answers

Queen answers

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Discussion

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